Well guys, this is will be the another compilation of funny Facebook status updates since the previous post [Funny Facebook status Updates]. Thanks to these very very creative people who actually came out with this, we are now be able to brighten up our wall post. Enjoy it.
Photo by ChethStudios
  • only shoplifting discount stores, because jail sentences are based on cost of goods stolen.
  • will return after a brief word from our sponsors
  • now understands, the reason he cant find his car keys is because he doesnt have a car.
  • played golf today...I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...
  • having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think ive remembered this before.
  • has not returned to the ground yet.
  • if nothing goes right.... go left!
  • has found his/her favorite machine at the gym: the vending machine!
  • has Gone on a vacation with Satan
  • asks, "What do you get when you cross ketchup with wasabi? WASSUP!"
  • wants you to read this status. Keep reading it... There, now I have full control over your mind. Now give me a hot dog!
  • went to Church the other day and when the plate came to him, he asked what it was for. The man said it was an Offering. So he took it.
  • getting into shape; and the shape I have chosen is 'Triangle'.
  • standing on his front lawn with his pants down waiting for Google Earth to come by and take his picture...
  • logged in and saw you logged in.Then I logged off and logged in 2 hours again - you were still logged in.Get A Life!OK yeah I was logged in all this time too.(feel shame)
  • used to jog a mile everyday, then I found a shortcut...
  • in your garden, peeing on your tomatoes...
  • wonders what would happen if he was scared half to death....twice??
  • Out playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Ladin. Damn he's good!
  • frustrated that he knows all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask him the questions.
  • knows Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...
  • has logged out. You missed him by mere minutes
  • destroyed his periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of supprise
  • decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
  • One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
  • says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • is proud of his/herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
  • Dear Santa, let me explain…
  • Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
  • ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
  • Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
  • Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
  • Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
  • Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
  • I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
  • Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
  • trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
  • forcing my dog to learn how to google.
  • Insert coin to view my status message.
  • remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.

And lastly : 25 Things I Hate About Facebook by Julian Smith



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